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Virtual Reality Shack

Right, are we excited to bring you yet another New-For-2109 treat or what?! Heck we’ll answer our own question here: YES! YES! And YES! Indeed we are excited, Tenby Dinosaur Park fans.

Almost foaming at the mouth with excitement to be honest, ‘cos we know that, as sure as eggs are eggs (and clothes pegs are clothes pegs), our brand spanking new VR Shack (or Virtual Reality Shack for short) has already caught the imagination of the county, the nation, and the northern hemisphere in the few short weeks it’s been up and running.

Some of you may ask ‘so what is this mysterious virtual reality of which you speak? Tell us more. Do!’

And we could then use that as an excuse to bang on about a load of philosophical stuff, trying to make ourselves look all brainy and swotty in the process.

We could attempt to impress you by namedropping the philosopher Descartes (Rene to his mates) who said, "...there are no certain indications by which we may clearly distinguish wakefulness from sleep,” and ended up coming out with, "It is possible that I am dreaming right now and that all of my perceptions are false."

For the love of…

Or we could jaw ad infinitum about that famous Chinese geezer from the 4th century, the philosopher Zhuangzi who banged on about dreaming of being a butterfly and who, on waking, didn't know if he was Zhuangzi who had dreamt he was a butterfly or a butterfly who had dreamt he was Zhuangzi.

I mean…honestly!

Those two herbets could really do with spending a day doing a shift on the checkout at the local Co-Op. Or, at the very least, a virtual reality thingie of the checkout at the local Co-Op. Do ‘em the world of good.

Yes, yes and we COULD mensh INDEXICALITY (what time it is now and who I am), QUALIA (what it is like to have specific experiences), or ENVATTED BRAINS (don’t ask)(no don't).

We could even say, ‘known as the idea of Nested Simulations: the existence of simulated reality is seen to be unprovable in any concrete sense as there is an infinite regress problem with…’ heck, we can’t even be BOTHERED to finish THAT sentence.

Nope, we’re not going to mention ANY of that very silly stuff. Not going to mention it at all.

Heck, we ain’t even going to ask, ‘have you SEEN the Matrix?’

All we are going to say is ‘get them there goggles on yer snout, sit back in a big comfy chair and then prepare to be transported to other worlds, other dimensions, through a cacophony of OOHs, AHHHs and OMGs.

No wonder people have been going mad for it, for the VIRTUAL REALITY SHACK, that is. Absolutely bonkers!

So much so, in fact, we were left with no choice but to beef up our security with Dwayne and DeShaun (oh and Anton who covers for Dwayne when he goes off for his fortnightly horticultural HND day release).

All three have been drafted in from the NFL where they had garnered reputations for being particularly nasty and aggressive Tight Ends.  

And if you don’t know what a Tight End is, put it this way: it simply means they is big, sister. HOOOOEEEE is they big! And mean. Mean as prairie dawgs in the midday sun.

So be warned. Have a whale of a time but don’t be tempted (as you will be) to outstay your turn in the VR Shack (Virtual Reality Shack), cos, like others before you, Dwayne (or Anton) and DeShaun will be lobbing you over the nearest hedge by your ear or your lapels faster than you can say ‘rag doll.’ Those boys don’t mess around. No sir!

So it’s VR SHACK. SENSES ATTACK. ALL DA WAY.